The process of learning

I have learned a lot over the last few months, and it’s when something happens,something usually pretty big, that you do learn. Learn about yourself, and life and how to live it.

The biggest thing I have learned is this…

There are no rules to life! There is no right or wrong, there is no black or white. Life is something that is custom to you, to your decisions and your reactions, and if you lived this life to someone else’s rules, then you aren’t growing, and moreover you aren’t living your own life!

Don’t feel pressured to make decisions based on what ‘rules’ are out there, don’t force yourself to do something that doesn’t feel natural to you, because at the end of the day, it you do find struggle with your decision, then you will learn, and you will discover a way to handle that struggle bettering yourself and learning more about life! It’s not about mistakes either, I don’t think it has to be thought of in such a negative way, why are they mistakes? What makes a choice a right one? Right to who? It’s not about mistakes at all, it’s about what feels right to you at the time, living your life in a way that helps you survive at the moment you’re living it.

So there are some tricks here, things that help the struggle if what you choose is harder than you would have liked…and it’s called owning it! If you make a decision to eat another slice of cake, well eat it! But make sure you don’t fall into a deep hole right after eating it, own what you did. You decided in that moment to eat the cake…might be a bit naughty and it might make you put ona little weight, but you knew all that going in really, when you picked up the fork and took that first bite, so instead of punishing yourself after, just own what you did! I ate the cake, and I will think more next time about the consequences, but in that moment I wanted the cake, so I ate it!

You have to acknowledge how you feel, you can’t just push it aside, and most importantly, you can’t beat yourself up about it! If you miss someone who isn’t there, don’t just brush the tears aside and tell yourself to man up, it won’t help, it will just make you want to cry more probably! Sit in the moment and remind yourself, I feel sad about this, and tell yourself it’s ok to feel sad sometimes…it’s what you feel for christ sake, so how can it be wrong! Your insides, your heart, your brain, it is you, and it will react, if it feels pain, then it feels pain! Don’t just brush it off, or run away, say to yourself, this makes me sad and it’s ok, breath through it and comfort yourself in the fact that it will be alright!

Once you accept these things, it’s so much easier to live really…don’t get me wrong,life isn’t easy, those big things will still happen, and life will come with pain…but I think if you learn to live your own life, to do what’s right for you and own your decisions and accept the emotions that come with it, then you will always grow from everything, and you will know yourself so much more…maybe even love yourself more.

What I’m saying is not bible, these aren’t rules to follow :) just my thoughts on life, my process of learning…


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