Late night wonderings…
It’s strange where life can take you isn’t it? Of what surprises come out of nowhere and knock you off your feet? Not just that, how things you think are destined to happen don’t…how through all of it you analyses yourself and, more often than not, give yourself a hard time because of the choices you’ve made or your actions in things.
This summer…no, this year has been one that has taken me so far from where I was it shocks me sometimes when I reflect back…which I often do. A broken girl with no direction. That’s who I was! I’m not saying I am completely changed or anything, but I know I’m far from where I was…and that maybe, I’m even more awake to everything now, like my eyes are even more open to it all…
A couple of days ago a guy who I went to school with messaged me…(this is going to be one of those stories where I get shocked). We never actually attended the school at the same time but I often visited the school. He wrote to tell me how he remembered me, almost 10 years later, how he’d been following my work…and I guess, how I left an impression on him! This isn’t a story to inflate my ego,or share how amazing I must have been back then…cause sincerely I wasn’t amazing…I was just as annoying as I am now. It’s a story of how people can be effected by you without you knowing…in the good and bad ways. I know there are many people who have stayed in the inner workings of my brain years after I last saw them, and I find it kind of fascinating! To this guy, I want to say thank you! I don’t know what I did, and I think you mentioned I never properly talked to you back then for whatever childish reason, but I wish I had. I wish I’d taken the time to get to know you…maybe if I had you wouldn’t be a guy who is writing to me 10 years later, maybe we could have been celebrating 10 years of friendship!
Still, it’s these life’s quirks that keep me wide eyed and in awe of the world!
I wrote a blog post last year about the change happening in my life, and a musician guy I kinda met a few times through my ex messaged me, he wanted to tell me he liked what I wrote, that he liked my photos and that we should collaborate and hangout. So yeah, that surprised me sure, but now…now he is my best friend. In fact he has one of the most beautiful souls of anyone I’ve ever met! We have made stuff, and he has inspired me! And his beautiful blonde hair-brained girlfriend has done the same! These people were leaves in the wind to me before, blowing around having never really seen them, and now…now I could not imagine them not in my life!
Oh I’m not finished with my stories yet…oh no. Last year one dark and cold November evening I saw that The Staves were playing in London…so I thought, damn, I wanna go! So I emailed their manager, said I could come into London for the show and to give me a chance shooting them live. Well he only went and let me,and now one of my images is on their live album for christ sake! Yeah universe,you rock!
I started randomly chatting to a guy in February this year on twitter…I liked his music,he liked my photos…simple I guess, but I never would have guessed then that 7months later he would come over to the UK from the US and we would have justs pent over 2 weeks straight hanging out and having mini adventures. I mean,seriously life, how about that! A new friend!
Photography takes me on some wild rides, and now…having recently been made redundant from my part time job, photography is my life’s work…a terrifying and liberating thought. And although I often feel the need to crap my pants at how scary it is not knowing where my next job might be lurking, I also have to hand it to the universe, you know how to keep things interesting! Photography makes me so happy…and a year ago I lost all sight of that, external forces came in and blinded me, but the last 12 months have shown me my way. Creating…no matter what caliber of work I produce or how impressive others might find it, creating keeps me alive. And life, with it’s little surprises and quirks, will forever inspire me to create and capture,
So thank you, to all those that keep me in my toes, that shock me, leave me blank, remind me to look at the stars, to take me on mini adventures, and who drive me to create :)
x